What is an End-of-Life Doula?
I'm Gillian, and I believe every person deserves compassionate support during life's most profound transition. As an end-of-life doula (also known as a death doula or death midwife), I provide compassionate, non-medical support to individuals nearing the end of life and their loved ones. This support encompasses emotional, logistical, and physical assistance.
My role is to offer comfort, guidance, and advocacy to ensure a dignified and meaningful end-of-life experience here in New York City and the tri-state area. Whether you're facing a terminal illness diagnosis, navigating hospice decisions, or supporting an elderly parent, I'm here to guide you.
My Journey
My path to becoming an end-of-life doula began with the loss of my friend, Andy – but my relationship with life and mortality started much earlier.
Surviving bacterial meningitis and managing life-threatening food allergies as a child made me acutely aware of life’s fragility and preciousness. These early encounters with mortality taught me to engage deeply and fully with life.
Close bonds with my grandparents and a cherished friendship with an elderly neighbor revealed the beauty of intergenerational connections. At thirteen, I became a candy striper, later teaching movement and art classes at a senior center during college. As an adult, I volunteered with Dorot, visiting homebound seniors. These experiences deepened my appreciation for the wisdom, perspective, and joy that older generations share.
Why I Do This Work
My friend Andy’s illness and passing cemented my calling. As his healthcare proxy, I navigated the complexities of medical care and advocated for his wishes. As his friend, I provided companionship and emotional support. Andy passed away just five weeks after his diagnosis, largely unaware of his dying process until the very end.
During those five weeks, I learned that dying people need more than medical care - they need someone to listen, to advocate, and to help them feel seen. I sat with Andy through difficult conversations with doctors, helped him express wishes he'd never put into words, and simply stayed present when words weren't needed. That experience showed me how transformative it can be to have someone dedicated solely to your comfort and dignity.
I believe that death, dying, and grief should not be taboo topics. I’m committed to fostering open conversations and guiding individuals and their families through informed and thoughtful decision-making, creating a supportive environment for planning, care, and grief. Together, we transform difficult discussions into opportunities for understanding, connection, and peace.
How I Support You and Your Family
End-of-Life Planning
I understand how overwhelming advance directives and care planning can feel. I'll help you break down these important decisions into manageable conversations, ensuring your voice is heard every step of the way. My comprehensive planning services include advance care directives, vigil preparation, respite care, and holistic emotional support for individuals nearing end-of-life and their families.
Individualized Support
Every family's journey is unique. I provide practical, personalized guidance through every step – from navigating paperwork and advance care directives to understanding and preparing for the dying process. Whether I'm supporting a family on the Upper East Side through their first hospice meeting or helping someone in the Village create a legacy project, I meet you wherever you are in this process.
Family Navigation
Families often struggle with conflicting opinions about care decisions. Having facilitated many difficult conversations, I help family members communicate openly and find common ground, even when emotions run high. I provide specialized support for children experiencing grief, help spouses navigate caregiving stress, and offer respite care for exhausted family caregivers.
Bereavement Support
Death doesn't end relationships - it changes them. I continue supporting families after their loved one dies, helping navigate grief's unpredictable waves and finding ways to maintain meaningful connections with those we've lost. This ongoing support includes memorial planning, anniversary and holiday guidance, and helping family members process their continuing bond with loved ones.
Creating Lasting Legacy
Some of my most meaningful work happens when families create something lasting together. Whether it's recording stories for grandchildren or writing letters for future milestones, these projects often bring unexpected healing and connection during difficult times. Through legacy exploration, we build lasting memories that honor your unique story and help you connect deeply with loved ones.
Gillian Fein
My formal training through INELDA, VNS Hospice, and Calvary Hospital gave me essential skills, but my childhood experience with life-threatening illness taught me something equally important – how precious and fragile life can be. That early awareness of mortality, combined with years of connecting with older adults, shaped my approach to this work long before I knew it would become my calling.
I provide compassionate end-of-life support and aging expertise to clients throughout Manhattan, including the Upper East Side, Upper West Side, Greenwich Village, and Brooklyn. I also work with clients outside of New York City, and collaborate closely with synagogues, churches, and community organizations across NYC, leading workshops and offering personalized guidance and education.
People often ask me when it's ‘too early’ to start end-of-life planning. The truth is, having these conversations when you're healthy and clear-minded is one of the greatest gifts you can give your family. These discussions don't have to be morbid or frightening – they can actually bring families closer together and provide tremendous peace of mind.
Testimonials
“Gillian helped my husband and I articulate our needs and desired directions... and helped me and the children manage our feelings before and after my husband’s passing. ”
“Ms. Fein wisely guided us on every issue we encountered over a period of several months.”
“Gillian’s approach brought comfort and connection to our family.”
“The aging presentation helped me to build a six month strategy to achieve goals with my mom.”
“Gillian, you are a real bright spot in my life.”
Life and Aging Workshops
I offer engaging, compassionate workshops designed for families, peer groups, and community organizations, including churches, synagogues, and community centers. These interactive sessions provide practical insights, meaningful discussions, and emotional support to help participants navigate the complexities of aging, caregiving, and end-of-life planning.
Whether you're part of a congregation looking to support members through life transitions or a family wanting to start important conversations, these workshops create safe spaces for exploring topics that matter most as we age and face mortality.
Begin Our Conversation
I'd welcome the chance to talk with you about what you're facing. Every family's situation is unique, and a conversation helps us both understand if working together feels right.
Please get in touch to schedule your complimentary consultation.